Francis Dale Vining
1937 - 2009
(My notes from my stepfather's service.)
Funerals are hard. Dealing with death is hard. Dealing the death of a loved one is especially hard.
It’s hard for the family. It’s hard for the friends of the family. No one quite knows what to say at times likes these. I know I never seem to have the right words. I wish there was something I could say to my mom or my brother that would somehow magically take away the pain they are feeling. But I can’t.
And I am guessing you can’t think of words that would do it either.
The reason for the pain is quite obvious. For the last 46 years every time our family got together Dale was there with us. And Dale always made those times together better. Whether we were playing wiffle ball in the backyard, playing cards most of the night, driving across country with five people loaded in the car, or even having water hose fights with the neighbors, Dale always made it better. Well, maybe not better. But at least a lot more fun.
But today our family and so many friends are gathered together and Dale is not here with us. And without him here this is just so hard.
But I think there is another reason this is hard for our family and his friends. I don’t think God designed us to handle death and the feelings that come with it. Probably a strange statement but I feel that is what scripture might be telling us.
As you know the book of Genesis gives us the account of all of God’s creations. The creation of the earth and everything on it and the creation of man.
In Genesis 2 verses 8 and 9 it says:
“Now the Lord God had planted a garden to the east, in Eden and there he put the man he had formed. And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground – trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.”
And starting in verse 15 it says”
“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”
When God created man, dying and dealing with death were not in God’s plan. Man was to work and take care of the garden and he could eat anything he wanted. But he was not allowed to eat from one tree. If man follows God’s command, death never happens. If death never happens we wouldn’t find ourselves here today. But death does happen. It happened to Adam. And it still happens today. Man’s sin against God brought about death.
But it wasn’t God’s design for it to happen. And we weren’t made to deal with it. So it’s no wonder that we don’t have the words to say at times like this.
But God does. Here is just one example. Psalms 34:17-18 says:
“The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them. He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Now those are words that I can find comfort in. I pray I will continue to search God’s word for the comfort and healing that only He can give. And I hope my family does. And I hope all of you will too.
I wish I could have made this a little more light hearted. Dale loved a good joke and he had the greatest laugh. He made people laugh wherever he went and there are a million stories about Dale that I could tell. And I am sure me and the other family members will share some of them with you later during the reception once we are finished here. And I hope you will share yours with us too.
I will share a story or two about Dale but first there is something I have to say. If I can.
Mom, I just want to say THANKS for finding a man like Dale to be your husband and a stepfather to Eric and me. Wow, he loved you so much. And he loved us too. He wasn’t a perfect man but he was the perfect man for our family. He taught Eric and me so much about life. But mostly he taught us how to enjoy it. Thanks mom. You found quite a man when you found Dale.
Two quick stories.
Dale’s last days were spent in a hospital bed in our home. Each day he was there he seemed to grow weaker and weaker. Mom did such a wonderful job of taking care of him. But towards the end Dale finally got so weak that he couldn’t eat or even suck water through a straw. He slept more and more as time went on. But one time when mom was leaning over his bed and was checking on him he suddenly puckered up for a big kiss. Towards the end Dale might have been through with food and water but he wasn’t through loving his wife.
But maybe my favorite story took place almost two years ago. Shortly after Pops was diagnosed with cancer I made a trip to Webb City to see the folks. Late one night while setting in the living room I simply asked Dale what his spiritual beliefs were.
He smiled and said, “You know Jon, I know I am a sinner. There is no doubt about that. And I have asked and believe that Jesus has forgiven me of my sins.”
We talked a little bit about what sin was and what happens if we don’t take care of it. And how Jesus, and Jesus alone can take that sin away. I prayed, and we hugged, and I cried. And it just doesn’t get any better than that.
And that gives me comfort today. And it will next week and the weeks to follow. I hope it gives comfort to mom and Eric and the rest of the family. And I hope it gives comfort to everyone else gathered here today.
1937 - 2009
(My notes from my stepfather's service.)
Funerals are hard. Dealing with death is hard. Dealing the death of a loved one is especially hard.
It’s hard for the family. It’s hard for the friends of the family. No one quite knows what to say at times likes these. I know I never seem to have the right words. I wish there was something I could say to my mom or my brother that would somehow magically take away the pain they are feeling. But I can’t.
And I am guessing you can’t think of words that would do it either.
The reason for the pain is quite obvious. For the last 46 years every time our family got together Dale was there with us. And Dale always made those times together better. Whether we were playing wiffle ball in the backyard, playing cards most of the night, driving across country with five people loaded in the car, or even having water hose fights with the neighbors, Dale always made it better. Well, maybe not better. But at least a lot more fun.
But today our family and so many friends are gathered together and Dale is not here with us. And without him here this is just so hard.
But I think there is another reason this is hard for our family and his friends. I don’t think God designed us to handle death and the feelings that come with it. Probably a strange statement but I feel that is what scripture might be telling us.
As you know the book of Genesis gives us the account of all of God’s creations. The creation of the earth and everything on it and the creation of man.
In Genesis 2 verses 8 and 9 it says:
“Now the Lord God had planted a garden to the east, in Eden and there he put the man he had formed. And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground – trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.”
And starting in verse 15 it says”
“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”
When God created man, dying and dealing with death were not in God’s plan. Man was to work and take care of the garden and he could eat anything he wanted. But he was not allowed to eat from one tree. If man follows God’s command, death never happens. If death never happens we wouldn’t find ourselves here today. But death does happen. It happened to Adam. And it still happens today. Man’s sin against God brought about death.
But it wasn’t God’s design for it to happen. And we weren’t made to deal with it. So it’s no wonder that we don’t have the words to say at times like this.
But God does. Here is just one example. Psalms 34:17-18 says:
“The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them. He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Now those are words that I can find comfort in. I pray I will continue to search God’s word for the comfort and healing that only He can give. And I hope my family does. And I hope all of you will too.
I wish I could have made this a little more light hearted. Dale loved a good joke and he had the greatest laugh. He made people laugh wherever he went and there are a million stories about Dale that I could tell. And I am sure me and the other family members will share some of them with you later during the reception once we are finished here. And I hope you will share yours with us too.
I will share a story or two about Dale but first there is something I have to say. If I can.
Mom, I just want to say THANKS for finding a man like Dale to be your husband and a stepfather to Eric and me. Wow, he loved you so much. And he loved us too. He wasn’t a perfect man but he was the perfect man for our family. He taught Eric and me so much about life. But mostly he taught us how to enjoy it. Thanks mom. You found quite a man when you found Dale.
Two quick stories.
Dale’s last days were spent in a hospital bed in our home. Each day he was there he seemed to grow weaker and weaker. Mom did such a wonderful job of taking care of him. But towards the end Dale finally got so weak that he couldn’t eat or even suck water through a straw. He slept more and more as time went on. But one time when mom was leaning over his bed and was checking on him he suddenly puckered up for a big kiss. Towards the end Dale might have been through with food and water but he wasn’t through loving his wife.
But maybe my favorite story took place almost two years ago. Shortly after Pops was diagnosed with cancer I made a trip to Webb City to see the folks. Late one night while setting in the living room I simply asked Dale what his spiritual beliefs were.
He smiled and said, “You know Jon, I know I am a sinner. There is no doubt about that. And I have asked and believe that Jesus has forgiven me of my sins.”
We talked a little bit about what sin was and what happens if we don’t take care of it. And how Jesus, and Jesus alone can take that sin away. I prayed, and we hugged, and I cried. And it just doesn’t get any better than that.
And that gives me comfort today. And it will next week and the weeks to follow. I hope it gives comfort to mom and Eric and the rest of the family. And I hope it gives comfort to everyone else gathered here today.
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